Parents have a vision and want the kids to grow into a personality they wish to see. Very rarely does this happen as family is not the only influence while growing up. The fact is, in today's world the external world has more impact on the growing individual than family.
Now coming to what is enigmatic. For all the years the family sees you growing up, you would expect them to know who you actually are, what is your thought process, how things affect you, blah blah blah. But the irony is they still have the vision in mind and try to fit you into that. In most cases its a square peg in a round hole. And the criticism which arises out of trying to match this vision and what is the actual individual is sometimes insulting. It is disapproving what the individual is all about.
How do you handle such a situation?
Life is best lived when the individual has no regrets for all the things he has done, doing or might do in future. All we hafta care is we shouldn't hurt anyone intensionally. Oh well ya, we are a social animal but its my life and I have the right to live it my way :) Damn you all!
ReplyDelete-Rajaneesh
Well, I do agree with you but I don't support you. When we compare our parents generation, they are way too liberal with us.
ReplyDeleteThough I'm not completely happy with their opinions or decisions, I don't complain. Let's look this issue with a positive attitude. :) ;)
-Pavi
Raj- what defines your way of life is important. As human beings we expect acceptance and acknowledgement from others.If the way of life is not accepted u will be an outcast. And common psychology is to alter the way you are to avoid disappointing anybody. Very rarely do any of us show that we care about self disappointment.
ReplyDeletePavi- im not complaining. Im just trying to c if there is any better way to handle it instead just confronting it when it happens. If there is a equilibrium set, these things wouldn't matter. Wat do u do to set that equilibrium?
ReplyDeleteImpact dude.. Impact.. There are various degrees of impact a person effects over the other. You should remember we all are interconnected in some way or the other. There are life altering events that might happen by people you have not met. The magnitude of how good the impact is, would usually be determined by 'time'. They will be directly proportional in most of the cases. Rare or I would say Accidental are situations where they would differ. Kushi movie's SJ Surya (who triggers a series of events) is an ideal example for these Accidental impacts.
ReplyDeleteWith this premise set, you should now see how much effect your parents have on you. You see them the time you grow up, you develop love towards them even before you know to talk or walk. And they become your highest priorities and you theirs'. And as life goes and the nature evolves there are lots of other people too be joining this game. They have their own level of magnitudes. All these time, you as an individual would have learnt to manage your own priorities. You are not you. I hate when people say be yourself, follow your heart. Those are the stupidest terms according to me. You cannot be yourself, you have to play the game by the group. There is no pride in saying that I am me. But you can be proud if you say you are unique or different.
To handle a situation what you've describe about is to surrender yourself to love which will be of the purest form shown by your parents. You have to develop belief. These terms belief, love are all abstract and so is God. The other side will be excellent, you would not believe it unless you see it and you will one day, very soon :) !!!
Braga- the very fact that I wanna set an equilibrium is cos I value their feelings. My only concern is not to lose sight of what I want in the process. At most points what I want for myself and what they want for me is aligned but when it is not, how to handle it? U compromise or do u confront? Do u establish what u r to them or portray just what they wanna c so that they are happy?
ReplyDeleteTo answer these questions you will have to swing yourself in time as a means of forecasting if you pick out either of these options. Lets take the case of confrontation. The whole idea to oppose to satisfy your own 'I' would be for the interim give some good feeling. But may result in a lot of sour radiations emanate from many directions the most coming from your loved ones. As time goes by, this can be eradicated but the scars will still be there.
ReplyDeleteOn the other hand if you just pursue whatever path they have laid for you, life becomes resentful. Yes, it sucks but then you may find yourself that there are not many options. Seriously, if you think you could uncover that the options are very less. But when you travel this disagreeable path, you see yourself a lot of positive radiations poured upon you. There is nothing compared to the blessings that they can shower upon you. That alone will put you back on track and life will become fruitful quickly.